OK, I’m not, but my blogs are …
Who would have thunk it? I’ve just posted my 3rd blog.
Hell yea I’m celebrating!
In a world where reading is replaced by Video Games, Vlogs, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat — etc— etc —etc, I dared to post a blog.
That takes courage.
Am I a blogger? Not yet.
Do I know what I’m doing? Hell freaking no!
Keen observation of self and others over the years have taught me that people who KNOW and are confident in their knowledge often times do not seek validation or approval.
Usain Bolt in an interview done many moons ago said: ‘When I was starting out, Gaitlin looked over at me and spat in my lane. I got scared. Now, I am not fazed by that because I know what I can do and I know who I am.’
That’s what confidence does. It may not always bring success, but it empowers you to face every challenge.
With confidence, you enter the writing competition, not because you KNOW you’ll win, but because you want to see if you’re good enough.
With confidence, you start a blog not because you KNOW you can write, but because you’re unsure and you want to practice the art and hone the craft.
With confidence, you post, “I love my husband’ not because you’re certain about your love for him or his love for you, but because you stand on shaky ground and you need to reassure yourself that all is well.
With confidence, you wear your makeup, fake hair, fake lashes and forced smile, not because you know you’re pretty; but, because they beautifully mask uncertainty and disguise insecurity.
But, my point is, people who know do not seek validation.
So, I’m the first to tell you, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.
Does that mean I won’t do it?
Hell freaking no!!!
It simply means, I won’t stop until I write as effortlessly as Tessane Chin sings … as quickly as Bolt runs … as competently as grandma Edith baked potato pudding … as ….as … I won’t stop until I master it!
Writing for me was just a late night fling. A one night stand that lasted too long. Now, we’re in a relationship. A relationship where disillusionment is often replaced with delusion.
Delusion that makes me believe people will actually read. Delusion that makes me believe I have something to say and it can only be said my way. Delusion that makes me believe I’ll write in a way that lifts the spirit, connects with the soul and — dear God, I’m really delusional.
Trust me, if I get a smile or even a smirk, I’m good.
Deep down, I think that’s the goal of anyone who dares to write.
They want people to share in their stories, relate to it, have some sort of emotional reaction. They want their words to connect.
I’m not able to do that (yet), but someday I will. Until then, I practice.
I practice because last week delusion shifted to reality when I realized some of my sistrens and a few brethrens were taking a peek.
And chile, Crystal Evans of JamaicaDateDoctor.com not only took a peek, but she also took time out of her busy schedule to share some words of wisdom and encourage me along my ‘blog’ journey.
And, my mentor (who I didn’t share with because he’s a hard nut to crack) also took a peek because I got a message in my inbox which read:
“Did you use distraught as a noun and not an adjective? Please correct!”
And, as I was about to hang my head in distraught, I saw below his words a smiley face and two more words:
Thanks mentor …. I think I will.
Until next time …
Live, Love, and laugh a lot.
Oh, also remember to subscribe to my virgin blogs and follow me @ eelasor.com.