So, last week was Mother’s Day.
Social media was ablaze with wonderful messages celebrating mothers for their unconditional love — and sacrifice — and selflessness — and sympathy — and empathy and —
Guess who looked on with sheer apathy?
Believe it or not, it’s extremely hard to read wonderful messages dedicated to mothers described as kind and caring and nurturing.
It’s even harder to look at pictures of doting mothers gazing at their children with love and adoration knowing you will never be able to relate.
So, for years, I greeted Mother’s Day with resentment and hate.
I was so consumed by hatred, I blocked the beautiful blessings and the wonderful life lessons being ‘motherless’ taught me. Today, I’ll share three:
1. I Was Raised By a Village
Now, don’t think for a second that I am going to glamorize my story. I am the first person to tell you that there is still a great void in my heart … there is still a lack of belonging … a longing to know more about that woman who left me in Jubilee.
But, I am also the first person to tell you that God provided me with the right people at every single point of my life’s journey.
There was the aunt who taught me how to read using scriptures from the bible, the grandmother who took me to church and taught me how to pray, the cousin who would send money to buy uniforms so I could go to school, the cousin who got $10:00 JMD for lunch money each day and gave me $5:00 JMD. There was the foster-mother who financed my high school education, the aunt who treated me like her own child and ensured I got into a good college, teachers who taught me more than what the curriculum offered, and the mentor who gave me a glimpse into what my life could look like if I choose to become victor over my circumstances.
I stand proud today and I can truly say, I am not a motherless daughter, I am the daughter of many mothers, and a true child of the universe.
2. I Became a Goal Digger — I Decided To Win
My drive to succeed came out of a need to prove to the world that I was meant to be here. I had to win every award there was to be won, ace every test, and prove I was the best. How else would I validate the fact that I was much more than an abandoned child? How else was I going to show the world that I was bright, loving, lovable and meant to be here?
The various medals, awards and trophies taunted me from the spot created for them on my bookshelf. They said: ‘Your mother still left you on a step. This doesn’t prove a damn thing.’
They were right.
It took me years to realize that I was not defined by my accomplishments and my achievements didn’t determine my value.
Don’t get me wrong, I am still, and will always be, a ‘goal digger’. But, I am not as obsessed with the notion that I need to prove that I am the best anymore, and now I don’t mind failing — as long as I learn the lesson — and get right back to winning!
3. I Am a Lot More Empathetic
I have been blessed with the ability to hear the pain behind the long, loud laughter of the chubby girl trying to fit in, I am able to see the sorrow behind a mask of smiles, and I can aptly identify the ‘Bruce Jenners’ of the World — those little boys who run the fastest, shout the loudest and do every single ‘manly’ thing to prove they’re not trapped in the wrong body.
I see, I hear, I feel — and I am the first to say — talk to me, there’s no judgment here. Talk to me — I understand.
Until next time, I leave you with the words of Charmaine Johnson Garwood:
“Try as we might, we can never change the fact that life is not always about our realities. Sometimes, we get the bitter end of the stick. But the blessings reach us when we forgive ourselves, we love ourselves, we accept our circumstances and be the best human beings we can be.’
I wish you all endless, endless blessings.
As per usual remember to LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH A LOT!!!
Follow my blog @ eelasor.com
APieceOfMine © 2015
eelasor.com copyright 2015