Some time ago, I got the opportunity to assist with an audition for a TV show. The place was jam packed with the who’s who of Jamaican theatre and some of the best, brightest, and most talented actresses this isle had to offer. Each woman was beautiful in her own right and they all stood proud, excited, confident and then — Yendi Phillips walked in.
No, I’m lying — Yendi Phillips sashayed in.
Her hips swaying to a beat that can only be Caribbean, her hair blowing in the wind, and a stride that said: Pause — stop whatever you’re doing and see what confidence is supposed to look like.
Yup, Yendi walked in and she wasn’t dressed in a Ms. Universe Gown (simple jeans and tee-shirt). Her face wasn’t beat (apart from lip gloss, it was makeup free). And, she was not wearing stilettos (just flip flops). She walked in with the confidence of a woman who all her life heard words like:
“What an adorable baby!” — “Oh my God she pretty eh?” —“Damn that girl’s gorgeous.”
She walked in like a successful, self assured woman and the most amazing thing happened. These women — did I mention, they were all bright, beautiful, and extremely talented? — These bright, beautiful, and talented women became intimidated.
Then, there were more onomatopoeias.
Now, the show did not air so I don’t know if she would have gotten the role (and that’s not what this blog is about). Plus, Yendi may have her own insecurities to deal with (but that’s not what this blog is about). This is about how one beautiful, confident woman changed a place filled with women who were usually beautiful, bright, and confident themselves to catty, jealous, and almost hateful witches.
And then, I had a light bulb moment. Women don’t really want to hate on each other, but sometimes we’re too insecure in our own selves to acknowledge our own worth and our own gift to the world.
How on earth can I say how beautiful my sister is when I’m yet to be secure in my own beauty?
How can I support my sister when she’s living her dreams and I’m still stuck trying to figure my life out?
How can I be happy for her marriage when I’m single and still hooking up with Mr. Wrong?
It’s not easy. And sometimes it’s not even our fault. Let’s be realistic. A woman who has heard all her life exclamations of:
“What an adorable baby!”—“Oh my God she pretty eh?”—“Damn that girl is gorgeous.” will walk into a room differently from a girl who has heard: “That baby aint cute.” —“Jeezam, she ugly eh?” —” God never give this one much to work with at all.”
The comments we hear from childhood often are the ones that shape the perception we have of ourselves and nine times out of ten these comments come from friends and family members.
Women — sisters — friends — today, I beseech, I implore, I beg, stop believing the lies that were fed to you. We were all designed with a divine purpose and we’re all uniquely beautiful. Carry yourself with confidence and a smile, radiate joy, and live your best life. Because, believe it or not, only when we start accepting our own beauty, only when we start living our own dreams, only when we start walking in our divine purpose and accepting our own truth will we be able to be loving, supportive and kind toward each other.
When we’re satisfied with our lives, we become happy — secure — confident — and a confident woman does not hate on, throw shade, or try to tear another woman down in order to feel better about herself.
A confident woman supports and uplifts another sister because hell, she’s got it going on and she can sashay into a room too.
Until next time,
Live, Love and laugh a lot!!!
APieceOfMine © 2015
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